There are times in our lives when the days seem repetitive, with the same thing happening over and over again. Then there are times when everything goes for a toss as we face changes thrown our way. While transformation is essential to life, it can put us off balance. Like many of you, I have experienced this unsettled feeling during transformative phases of my life. Balancing life during these times is a learned experience.
I am going through one right now and felt like sharing this with you, my readers.
I am a firm believer in the mantra that change is the only constant. However, that doesn’t make the actual transformative times any easier. Then again, such is life, and the best we can do is go with the flow while trying to stay afloat.
“A woman is the full circle. Within her is the power to create, nurture and transform.” – Diane Mariechild
A few months ago, I started a new job. After 7 years of not working outside the home, this is a big adjustment, to say the least. Especially since the last time I worked a 9-5 job, I didn’t have a baby. Neither was I married.
So, it has been an interesting few months, and it gives insight into the whole dynamics of balancing life as a working mother.
Here are some of the things I have learned along the way about balancing life as a working mother that you might resonate with.
1. It cannot be done without help
This is perhaps the most important aspect of balancing life as a working mother. You cannot do it alone. Period.
Now, the harsh reality is that not every one of us has help readily available. That’s where this bit gets challenging. I know this because I am somewhat on this boat. I live in a different country, far away from my family. And while I have my spouse with me, there are often instances when both of us have work commitments, when our son also needs attention.
It’s not always easy, and I am yet to find a perfect solution to this. Or perhaps there isn’t an answer. But I always make sure to ask for help from my husband and sometimes from my trusted group of friends when needed. I know my limits and try to abide by them. For me to be useful at either my home or workplace, I need to first be able to keep my cup at least somewhat full.
2. Know your limits
No one can do it all. And that’s okay. We aren’t machines who are supposed to work tirelessly and move from one job to the next one without a pause.
The reality is that we have to know where to stop and when to say no so that we can be healthy. This means both physical and mental health. And we need to do this without guilt.
So the next time you want to say no to a social engagement over the weekend because you don’t feel like doing it, just do so without feeling bad.
3. Drop the ball
One of my favorite analogies when it comes to the skill of juggling multiple responsibilities is the one about glass and rubber balls. If you aren’t familiar with the concept, there is this idea that our many responsibilities can be categorized as either glass or rubber balls that we are constantly juggling. Now, it is unavoidable that we will drop some of these balls in the process. When the time comes, it is crucial to know that it’s okay to drop the rubber balls to catch the glass ones. Major presentation at work vs. a social obligation with an acquaintance? It’s fine if you choose to focus on the work thing and postpone the latter. But your kid’s annual recital vs. a routine work thing- you know which ball to drop then.
It’s all about categorizing tasks according to their roles and understanding that sometimes, one takes priority over the other. And that’s okay.
4. Doing your best is enough
Social media paints this picture of perfection, and if you are anything like me, you find it intimidating. The influencers with their tidy homes, thriving businesses, and home-cooked organic meals mostly make me feel less than. My home isn’t as organized or pretty. We have Hot Wheels cars all over the living room floor, a pile of laundry to be folded in the bedroom, and my kitchen could use some love.
But you know what? We can’t compare ourselves to the curated versions of these online personalities. That’s simply not fair to us. And if we do our best, then that is enough. For our families and ourselves.
5. Seasons change, so does life
Just like how seasons change, our lives also move from one pace to another. There are times when a lot happens at work while things at home remain stagnant. And also vice versa. That’s just how it is. We need to accept that as a fact. We cannot expect our days to pan out in the same way every day. Rather, we must learn how to calibrate our expectations and responses according to the ebbs and flows of our days.
Life happens in its own way
Life is not meant to be rushed through. I find that I function best when I give in to the natural flow of change.
All through our existence, we must remain open to the idea of learning. For it’s a very dull existence if we stop doing that. Life is not a puzzle to be solved. It’s rather an experience to be lived. And so, as I find my way through balancing life as a working mother, trying to figure out all that I am supposed to do, I just hope that I find it in myself to be enough.
Peace.
Do you have any related experience or story to tell? Please share in the comments below. I would love to hear from you.
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