In my twenties, I was never the person who thought about motherhood. Sure, I wasn’t opposed to the idea of having kids. But I never actively imagined myself as a mother. It was always a distant possibility that could happen until one day it really did.
Like so many women around me, I became a mother during the pandemic’s peak. That too in a foreign land far away from my family. Our son came to this world when masks were the norm and hugs were a distant dream. He quite literally became our refuge in an otherwise scary and tumultuous time.
It has been more than two years since his birth and there seldom goes a day when I don’t ponder over all that motherhood has taught me. I am sure these are things that generations of mothers before me have perceived. And many more will continue to do so in the future.
There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.
Jill Churchill
1. Motherhood is by No Means Easy
I never expected it to be easy. But boy was I still astonished by how out of depth I felt in those first few months.
Being a mother is tough. Caring for a little snuggle bug while still recovering is hard. I developed a greater appreciation for my mother right there on the delivery bed while going through perhaps the worst possible pain known to mankind. Let’s just say I even felt a bit of remorse for all the nuisance I created as a child. And I prayed for some delayed forgiveness.
Yes, this role is not easy, it was never meant to be.
But it is also the most fulfilling thing I have ever done in my life. So, it is a win overall.
2. You Never Know True Love Till You Become a Mother
I had read this so very often and yet this particular aspect of motherhood took me by surprise. I thought I knew love until I looked into the eyes of my newborn. And every day since then I feel my heart make a little more space for some love. There’s absolutely nothing that I wouldn’t do to keep that boy safe. And I know that’s an emotion shared by many mothers. And fathers.
3. The Days are Long But The Years are Short
Those first six months I was so busy trying to stay afloat that I never realized how fast time passed. And boom! One day my baby was no longer a newborn. He was now trying to sit up and cooing at me with a gummy smile.
In retrospect, our time with our babies does really fly by. However, when we are in that newborn or infant stage, it appears that the days are never-ending. The constant cycle of things and chores often takes a toll. The feeds, naps, bottles, diapers, laundry- all jumble into one big mess. Until one day we stop to look and are surprised by how fast all the time went by.
4. Never Say Never
Most of us held an ideological view about parenting before we became one. Oh, I am never going to be the parent who lets their child co-sleep. Or my child will never have a meltdown that crazy in public.
But then you become a mother and everything changes.
One of the most humbling lessons that motherhood has taught me is to never say never. It’s easy to have the perfect plans before the baby comes. However, how we parent is influenced a lot by the kind of baby we have. And let me tell you. Those little people have such strong personalities that they will make you bow down to their will.
5. Motherhood Teaches You to Prioritize
Managing life with a newborn is more than just tough. It puts things into a sharp perspective and teaches us to prioritize. Let’s just admit that once you become a mother you won’t be able to do all things that you want to do. At least for a while.
So you learn to rank your chores and activities. A nap sounds way better than a spotless sink to some of us. Or maybe having clean laundry is the thing that you need. Some of us prioritize getting out to get some fresh air.
There’s no single formula. You do you. But you definitely learn how to make time for things that really matter and let other stuff take a backseat for a while.
Related Read: Mom Hacks- 5 Ways To Make Life With a Little One Manageable
6. You are a True Hero, Well to Your Little One
Take a moment to see yourself through the eyes of your little one. Who are you to them?
You are their hero. The person who they run to for shelter. Their home and refuge. There’s perhaps nothing that mommy can’t do or solve. Of all the things that came with being a mother, this is perhaps what caught me the most off-guard. I never expected to be this important to someone. And I am holding onto this feeling for now. Because one day this will fade but the memories will remain forever.
Now excuse me, while I go and solve the same puzzle for my kiddo for the umpteenth time.
7. You Will Never be Needed As Much
Kids are clingy. However, it also means that you will never be needed as much ever again by somebody. This can truly be a double-edged sword.
While attachment is a crucial component of raising well-adjusted, healthy kids, it can also backfire. Too much dependence can result in issues with time.
Motherhood, after all, is a balancing act through and through.
8. The Exhaustion is Real
Whether you have a single child or two under two, being a mother is an exhausting job. I knew that before I had my baby. But I was not prepared for the level of tiredness I felt for the first few months. I remember my grandma calling and telling me that for the first three years, I would probably not sleep well. As a newly sleep-deprived mom, I was aghast at that. How could I survive?
Well, while the lack of sleep and exhaustion is real, it is also true that mothers find a way to cope.
Related Read: New Mom- Make Your Life Easier With These 10 Apps
9. The Anxiety is Real Too
The one thing that I do have difficulty managing is my anxiety about my child. It is said that being a parent is like having your heart live outside your body. It is so true!
But as with so many things, we cannot be too anxious or let our worries affect our children. I am still learning and I hope that I am doing a little better with each passing day.
10. You’ve Got This Mama!
Last, but not the least, the final lesson from my motherhood journey is that we have got this! While we worry and second-guess our decisions, we should remember that we are doing our best. And it’s okay if things are not perfect all the time.
Maybe you forgot to get a change of clothes for the playground. It’s okay. They can change once they get back home. Or you don’t feel like cooking today. It’s fine if your kids eat french fries for dinner.
This journey is tough but rewarding. Don’t make it any more difficult on yourself. Trust the process and enjoy the ride.
For, the little ones grow up in the blink of an eye.
Peace.
Do you have any related experience or story to tell? Please share in the comments below. I would love to hear from you.
